Thursday, January 21, 2016

The Latest Ridiculous Social Media Craze Involves Breasts And Pens


2016 is not even a month old but we’ve already been treated to the first ridiculous social media trend of the year.
The latest craze has seen women from Japan and China using their breasts to hold a pen in place, thus proving they have an ample bosom…apparently.
According to the Daily Mail, the first social media post in China appeared on January 6 with the hashtag #carrypenunderbreast. Hey, it’s nothing if not clear.
Of course, some people have pushed the trend a few steps further, using heavier and bulkier objects to show off…


Weibo user ‘Er Bi Bu Shi Ji Pin’ commented:
What exactly is the standard of being a proper girl? Recently, people in Japan invented a new standard, that is – to hold a pen under your breast. Only when you can do that are you a real girl.
Another user called Ai Tian Yi Sheng’ wrote:
I can’t do it, does it mean I’m not a woman?
What a world we live in…

Is This The Most Credible Theory About Making A Murderer Yet?


Making A Murderer is probably one of the very best TV documentaries Netflix has ever commissioned. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, ok. I agree too.
The story has gripped the whole world and everyone is talking about whether Steven Avery is innocent (yes, he is) and if Ken Kratz, Lt. James Lenk, Sgt. Andrew Colborn and the rest of the utter arseholes are actually involved in an elaborate framing of an innocent man (yes, they are).
While it is painfully obvious to most people that Avery is innocent, the cold hard fact of the matter is that the jury believed him guilty. But then again, what are facts to the American justice system, right?


Since the show aired, people have been looking for more and more evidence to try and get Avery a new trial where the blatant framing can be exposed for what it is a blatant framing. I mean, that bloke Kratz, wouldnt trust him as far as I can throw him and he prosecuted an entire case. The way he says Teresa Halbach too in that limey, high-pitched tone is grimy as fuck, made me cringe so bad.
Anyway, theory after theory has been posted online and everyone has their opinion on what really happened to Teresa Halbach and who actually killed her. And this Reddit user may have just nailed it with probably the most plausible one weve read to date. Can you argue with this?
This is a theory I saw on a Youtube comment and I had to share it...
"The police didn't kill Theresa Halbach. Andrew Colborn located that RAV4 with the assistance of Mike Halbach and Ryan Hillegas who illegally trespassed onto the Avery Salvage Yard on the night of November 3rd 2005. Mike Halbach and Ryan Hillegas suspected something was up since the Avery Salvage Yard was the last place they knew Theresa visited on Oct.31st Halloween day. They went snooping on the property and found the car. They checked the car and found the key in the ignition and blood in the cargo area. Mike or Ryan removed the key from the ignition to ensure that no one could easily move the car off of the Avery property... freaked out about this huge discovery they call the Manitowoc Sheriffs Department. Andrew Colborn fielded the call that night and went out and met Ryan and Mike at the Salvage Yard so he could view the car for himself. Ryan and Mike show him the car and to be certain its Halbachs he "calls" in the plate number to dispatch. Colborn has to "call" in... instead of "radio" in... the plate number to Manitowoc dispatch because he wasn't in his police cruiser at the moment, but rather on foot and in the "field' on the Avery Salvage property. This mistake places Colborn at the scene and in contact with Halbachs RAV4... 2 days before it is officially located on November 5th, 2005, by Pam Sturm.... This is problematic for Colborn because all call and radio transmissions to dispatch are recorded and logged onto the Manitowoc Police server. Andrew Colborn is now operating outside of police protocol at a potential crime scene that he has no official directive to be at. He tells Mike Halbach and Ryan Hillegas to basically STFU about what they found and not mention to anyone that they were ever on the Avery Salvage property that night. Ryan or Mike turns the RAV4 key over to Andrew Colborn. Mike and Ryan are told to go home. Andrew Colborn then immediately calls Lt. James Lenk and briefs him about the discovery of the Halbach car and breaches of protocol he committed on the Avery property, also about Ryan Hillegas and Mike Halbach being there. Lt James Lenk realizing that Colborn's calling in Halbachs plate is a serious mistake with potential consequences orders Andrew Colborn to remove the license plate from Halbach's car and then report to him immediately.


What James Lenk and Andrew Colborn, or the others for that matter, don't realize at this point and are completely unaware of is that Bobby Dassey and Scott Tadych have kidnapped, raped, shot and then burned Theresa Halbach in the privacy of the gravel quarry off of Jambo Rd on Halloween evening. They choose to burn her body to dispose of their DNA evidence of the crimes. They hid Halbach's car in the rear of Avery Salvage and wiped it clean of their prints. I believe it is Scott Tadych's idea to secretly transport the cremains of Halbach from the gravel quarry and dispose them into Steven Avery's burn pit. Scott Tadych transports Halbach's cremains in secret by using one of Barb Jandas burn barrels from her yard. Scott Tadych fails to collect all of Halbach's cremains from the original burn site in the gravel quarry, thus leaving some behind that FBI investigators later find... but he also fails in making certain all of Halbach's cremains are out of Barb Jandas burn barrel after dumping them into Steven Avery's burn pit. This is why investigators found small bits of Halbach in Barb Jandas burn barrel. Thus making a total of three sites where Halbach's cremains are found. Scott Tadych and Bobby Dassey are unaware that Ryan Hillegas and Mike Halbach have found Theresas car on the property and that Lenk and Colborn are now involved and in play with their scheme. .........By shear colossal luck, two completely independent frame jobs targeting one man, Steven Avery were shaping up into the perfect storm. On one front, from Lenk and Colborn regarding the RAV4, ....and on the other unconnected front by Scott Tadych and Bobby Dassey regarding the cremains of Theresa Halbach. One party wasn't aware of the other's involvements at any point during the days leading up to the official discovery of Halbach's RAV4 at the Avery Salvage Yard hence why the investigation and murder trial made zero sense to anyone especially the Jury.
None of the evidence could be connected because it was all unrelated... everybody was guessing. But Buting and Strang had zeroed in on a part of it but couldn't fully form a solid defense to prove it. The Jury couldn't conceive that Manitowoc officers could have conspired to kill Theresa Halbach to frame Steven Avery as Ken Kratz insisted they had to if they wanted to follow the theory the defense presented of the frame up of Steven Avery by Manitowoc officials. And Ken Kratz was right... Imagine Scott Tadych's confused and utter relief when Steve Avery's blood was found in the Halbach car and the RAV4 key found in Steve Avery's bedroom..... he must have been like.... WTF?! A quote from Scott Tadych after Steven Avery is convicted of Theresa Halbach's murder.... "THIS IS THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN" ..... We will see Scott, we will see....................."


This is probably the most credible theory I have come across so far. Notice how the events here not only make logical sense, but they also line up with how many of the parties involved behaved during the documentary i.e how Mike Halbach and Ryan Hillegas seemed like they knew more about what happened than they were leading on. As well as Scott Tadych and Bobby Dassey's bizarre hostility towards Steven Avery.
I can't see another theory topping this one personally.
What do we all reckon then? Is he innocent? Is he guilty? Is Ken Kratz a shitbag who messages domestic abuse victims inappropriate sexts? The argument will rage on. Except about Ken Kratz. He is a shitbag who messages domestic abuse victims inappropriate sexts.

Holly Willoughby And Phillip Schofield Present 'This Morning' Hungover, In Last Night's Clothes


Hangovers at home are awful. Hangovers at work are something akin to torture.
I shudder even thinking about the times I've sat in the office feeling like death warmed up, googling ways to kill myself so I could get out of my shift.
Luckily for me, I can keep my head down at my desk and shield my bloodshot eyes behind the familiar glow of my computer. The same can't be said for This Morning presenters Holly Willoughby and Phillip Schofield. Let's face it. Holly and Phillip are certified hedonistic wreckheads - you don't get to host g-rated telly without being one.
The duo turned up to present the ITV daytime show in the same outfits they rocked at last night's National Television Awards. They looked a little worse for wear.




Holly said: "Should we be honest? I haven't been home yet. We came straight here."
The 34-year-old sat with a giant cushion on her knee and then admitted she'd had a spillage at the bash.
"I'm covering up mint sauce on my dress," she said. "This is a lovely dress, but can you see the yellow stains? It's mustard and piccalilli, before you jump to any conclusions."
"We're in a mess," Phillip said. "We can only apologise. We celebrated on behalf of each and every one of you.
"Neither of us should be on television."
We've all been there.

Girl Gives Out Lad's Number Instead Of Her Own And His Responses To The Texts Are Brilliant


It's a wonderful feeling when you successfully manage to get a girl's number. After a night out it's something to work with for the remainder of the weekend and the duration of the week. However, the game is changing. These days, if we're too persistent or a creep - which a lot of us are without realising - there are techniques girls use to easily mug us off.
Take these lads for example. They thought they'd hit the jackpot, only to find out they'd all been given a fake number...


Wednesday, December 16, 2015

This Is The Most Disturbing Kid's Book Of All Time

The 1975 book How A Baby Is Made doesn't leave out any disturbing details.

Never judge a book by its cover.

 

It starts out innocently enough.

"It begins when a man and a woman find love, despite their horrendous fashion choices."

 

Then things get a little more NSFW.

"The man and the woman strip down, but stay in the same awkward back patting pose."

Things get very NSFW during the insemination.

"The man releases four cartoonishly large sperms into the woman's lady balloon while they breathe into one another's mouths. Neither of them so much as blinks."

 

Time to cuddle standing up!

"Just like an olive in a martini glass, the zygote floats aimlessly."

 

Now back to this pose, still naked.

Hey bro, if the fetus is the size of a cocktail shrimp, you can probably put your pants back on.

 

After 9 pantsless months, the baby is almost ready.

Danny DeVito?

 

At least they get dressed to go to the hospital.

What a couple of hippies.

 

Once there, they visit the doctor from Human Centipede.

 

Then the birthing process be—OH MY GOD!

Have fun trying to sleep tonight! (Also, why is the doctor at that end of the bed holding something that looks like a hammer? No anesthesia?)

 

Ta-daaaa!

"Why won't you love me?"

 

Mommy loves her bizarrely alert and fingerless newborn.

Looks suspiciously like the doctor, to be honest.

She Looks Sweet But You Should See Her Next Selfie


This girl kinda looks like she was hangin’ out, having a great time, being herself, when all of a sudden a giant animal took a poop on her shoes. And she’s like… NOOOOOOOOOO.



Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Husband Opens Box Thinking It’s An Apple Watch, But What’s Inside Makes Him Cry


Who wants an Apple watch for their birthday?

How about for Christmas? Or Valentine’s day? Any of the above would work for me, if I’m being honest. I mean come on, those things are awesome.

To wear it is to love it.

Or so they say. I mean, once I saw these little babies hitting the shelves I must say, I couldn’t help but believe it. It has some amazing features that even the most technically challenged individual would get excited about. You can receive and respond to your notifications in seconds, track your daily activity (like how many steps you’ve taken, and a bunch of other really cool things). You can have and play music from it, using just your voice! (Is that for real? How cool!) You can also pay for stuff too, like groceries or cool fitness gear, whatever you want. All of these incredible features in one tiny little watch. It still blows my mind what technology is able to do.
This guy wanted an Apple watch. He really wanted an Apple watch. And he thought he was getting one. (I mean, she did hand him an Apple watch box, so it’s a little unfair).
He didn’t get an Apple watch. He got the furthest thing from it. When he opens the box and realizes there is no Apple watch inside he begins to cry, but wait until you see why he’s crying! He may not have gotten an awesome watch, but what he did get is much more amazing. His reaction is beautiful. Not only is his woman a genius for the way she gives him this incredible gift, she also knows how to build some suspense. This video is one of the sweetest and most emotional I’ve seen in a long time. What a happy surprise!

Watch it here: