Man Confronts Teenagers In Tesco After They Scratch His Car

A video is currently doing the rounds on social media of a man who followed two teenage lads into a Tesco after he spotted them scratching his car.

In the post on Facebook, Luke Joseph wrote: “Laid in bed hears a couple of lads outside… The nosey an paranoid twat I am jumps up has a look outa window, low n behold behold 2 lads outside laughing walking down rd being stupid.”

He continues: “scratched my car again. As im watchin em walk down TO MY SHOCK They scratched the Bentley few doors on.. which I saw with my own eyes..Fact… Shouted at the door n they ran like fuk.”

Luke then goes on to say how he quickly got himself dressed and jumped into his car to try and track the lads down, before managing to follow them into a Tesco.The following scenario ensued…

We wouldn’t suggest this form of action every time, but at least he had his phone available. Only time will tell if his car’s bodywork has been given a rest.

At least he doesn’t own the Bentley…

This Is How To Rid Your Facebook Of ‘Be Like Bill’ Memes

You’ve probably lost count of how many times you’ve seen this prick on your Facebook feed…

Bill has attracted an audience of millions around the world in a matter of weeks, with his passive-aggressive statuses flooding social media and I think we have had enough now.

Originally invented to give people lessons in how to be less annoying online, people posting their own customised versions are somehow managing to be to even more infuriating. Who’d have thought it?

But don’t threat, if you don’t want to be like Bill we have a way to get rid of the smarmy stick figure- once and for all.

Just click on the drop down arrow on the right of the post, select ‘Hide all from’ whichever app they used to create this monstrosity and then you’ll be free.

You can thank us later…

Amsterdam Is Now Home To The World’s First Dedicated Hotel For Gamers

If you’ve ever visited Amsterdam, you’ll know it’s a magical place. Mostly for the sights and the people of course, and definitely not the vast amounts of readily available weed. Whatever your views on recreational drug use anyway, it’s a great place to visit. Now, thanks to a a new dedicated gamer hotel, it just became even greater.

The Arcade Hotel in Amsterdam has been dubbed the “world’s first hotel for gamers” where guests can hang out, play retro classics as well as modern titles, and do all that other boring hotel stuff like sleep in luxury, eat delicious food, and drink half your weight in gin. If you’ve ever wanted to see if you’d still be any good at Duck Hunt after getting mashed on booze, this is the place to do it.

Located in the De Pijp area, the hotel has 36 rooms, each with a retro gaming console included – no extra charge. As if that wasn’t enough for you, you greedy devils, there’s a selection of comic books from the likes of DC and Dark Horse for you to read while you wait for your turn in one of the communal gaming lounges.

At the grand opening last week, guests were treated to an outdoor FIFAtournament, with street food and gin tasting. Hotel owner Daniel Salmanovich also spoke of plans to expand the number of rooms to 46 to accommodate yet more gaming enthusiasts from around the world.

So The Arcade Hotel looks all set to become a must see destination for anyone with a love of videogames… just remember if you go that there’s plenty of other great stuff to see and do in Amsterdam, as tempting as it would be to hole up and have a SNES marathon all weekend long.

Getting Annoyed By Chewing And Slurping Noises Is A Genuine Psychiatric Disorder

One of the things I'm sure most of us will all agree on is that loud chewing is an absolute travesty that should earn you a one way ticket to the depths of fucking hell.

Hearing someone chomping wildly on a Big Mac or slurping their morning coffee, to the point where they might inhale the cup, can make you feel like your head is about to explode.

Well there's news for all of us who feel this way, you're suffering from a psychiatric disorder called Misophonia.

This translates directly to 'hatred of sound', which to be honest is accurate for most of us. The sound of other people's voices can literally send us into meltdown. However, it doesn't mean that you are just a hater to anything that makes a sound and would rather be deaf, it just means that there are certain noises that'll trigger anger and an uncomfortable scenario.

The best example I can think is when someone drags their nails over a surface and it makes a screeching noise - that is painful to my ears.

The loud chewing of chewing gum is high up on my list. It makes an unbearable noise and if the perpetrator doesn't realise it sends me into an even deeper pit of rage.

Other things are the sound of Katie Hopkins being a grade A bellend - affects me weekly. The sound of Iggy Azalea thinking she's an acceptable addition to the music industry, and the brain farts that Donald Trump makes when in front of a microphone.

What Exactly Is That Stupid Tiny Pocket Within A Pocket On Your Jeans For?

Usually on my morning commutes, I'm fairly disconnected from the world; yet to properly wake from my slumber. However, today after my second coffee I was more pucker than usual, so my daily complaints came early. Today's topic was a slightly weird one.

I'd reached into my jean pocket to get my phone, but in doing so my finger got caught on that stupid non-pocket that's inside your actual pocket. It ripped my nail and I was less than impressed. What's it even for anyway?

Apparently, it's a 'watch pocket', used by cowboys in the 1800s. As I'm not a cowboy and it's 2016, I wondered how it could be used today. Possibly as a place to store your wrap of cocaine, but I wouldn't know anything about that.

So what else? Small emergency foods? A rogue Roses caramel barrel, for example.

A spare double A battery? Many items powered by AA batteries are usually ineffective without said batteries, so it's smart to carry them around.


What about a toy car? It could be used to distract children who attack you in the street.

A sachet of McDonald's salt? You never know when you'll need to season anything. It's better to be prepared and have a salt sachet at the ready. I'll be damned if I'm carrying a salt shaker anywhere. Not again. Not in this life.

Notably, sugar can be used in the same context.

A few paracetamol will also fit. However, swallowing medicine covered in denim fluff may have negative health implications.

Following extensive research, I found you cannot fit a full size apple in the pocket. However, once you've eaten said apple, you can fit the core in there. Which I'm sure we can all appreciate.

It's also quite useful for change. But that's really boring, to be honest.

Drunk Aussies Film Themselves Thwarting A Robbery Attempt On A Local Supermarket

A couple of lads, from the Gold Coast of Australia, foiled an attempted robbery on a local supermarket last night.

James Ross-Munroe and Kane Wiblen where chilling at Arundel service station late at night when they witnessed the would-be thieves breaking into a shop called Oporto.

That's when, despite only wearing sandals and shorts, and coming across a bit worse for wear, James put an abrupt end to the criminal's plans. He started by nabbing their car keys from the ignition whilst they were still in the shop.

All the odds seemed against James; he didn't look to be in any state to be preventing a serious crime after all, he had just busted a plugga (broken his flip flops). But that didn't stop him attempting to alert others to call the relevant authorities and, when that failed, chasing the criminals himself.

And of course it wasn't long before a hilarious video of the bare-chested man, running after the hapless burglars whilst shouting 'come ere you little bastards' in true Aussie style, surfaced online. Because that's what happens to anything that's even remotely interesting these days.

It's understood that despite the gallant efforts from James Ross-Munroe, the crooks got away. One has since been arrested and remains in police custody and the other is still at large, according to Gold Coast Bulletin.

The pair posted their clip of the action onto Facebook along with a caption saying: "The moment we caught two blokes breaking into Oportos Arundel, they ran inside so I took their keys out of the ignition.

"When the driver came back to the car he realised his keys were missing, the passenger jumped in and I managed to land a few punches ...

"I chased them but because I'm fat they got away."

Honest and brave, fair play James. I'm sure a sterling career in law enforcement is well within your grasp.

Someone Has Recreated The Mrs Doubtfire Trailer As A Horror And It's Frightening

Mrs Doubtfire was one of my favourite movies growing up and, to be honest, if I whacked it on tonight I'd probably still enjoy it just as much as I did as a kid.

Today however I stumbled across a trailer for Mrs Doubtfire that had been cut and edited by Peter Javidpour into a horror movie and it is absolutely superb.

The late great Robin Williams plays a psychotic father who just wants to be closer to his kids and the rest is, well.... horrifying.

Thats going to make the next Mrs Doubtfire viewing a whole lot different. Or not. Its still a class edit.